INTERVIEW

Got a phone call from him when I arrived home yesterday evening. He was on the way to KL via bus as he has an interview in Puchong this morning. I offered to pick him up at the LRT station and the plan was for me to fetch him at his aunt's house on my way to work this morning. I took the exit that I normally take when I used MRR2 to come to work. This conversation took place:

Him: Why are you taking this exit?
Me: The toll is cheaper
Him: Yeah, but look at the jam.
Me: It's not jam la dear, it's just the traffic light.
Him: Really?

After the traffic, there was an unusual crawl. And I began to get a bit upset because come on, who likes a sudden traffic jam when usually the road is clear.

Me: What's with this jam? Normally it's not like this.
Him: Because I said so.

Eeeeii...! I felt like punching him you know. Here I am driving, dealing with this jam, and he couldn't be supportive. I KNOW he was joking but considering the condition that I had to face, I just put on an angry face. Then I realized there was a stall lorry that blocked one of the lanes and so I had to switch lane.

Me: It's that bloody lorry that caused this jam.

When I started talking like that, he then realized that I was upset. He said that he was just joking..I support you, I support you. Hahahah..!My poor poor boyfriend...I am too sensitive la..sorry ok dear.

Nway, after I punched in my punch card, we went for breakfast. Stayed in the office for a while and again he surfed the net..Then, off we went to Puchong because the interview was at 10am. Not long after we arrived at the company, the interview took place.

Hmm..I don't like the environment that much. The office was ok la. After a while, the interview ended. He did not look happy about it. The interviewer told him that they wanted at least 1 year experience in the field. However, he did have similar experience, and he said that he required minimal training. He was just upset that, if you want experienced people, then, don't call me for an interview la. Don't waste my time. Well, I just told him to relax and be patient la. ( look who's talking huh? hahahah..)

We stopped by at McD, then I dropped him at an LRT station as he had something to do in KL. From there, he will head back home. No weekend dates for me this week. Isk..isk..isk..

I am sad to see him go again. But at least, we got to spend time and I am truly happy that I could support him the best way that I can. He did apologize for just visiting like a 'touch n go'..well, I didn't mind at all.

Ok then, have a good weekend everybody. My brother is home, so, I will not be that bored. Heheh..

FALLIN'

Sometimes, whenever I read a blog or even in real life, I get to know about other couples and their relationship, I could not help but feeling a bit jealous and felt that they are so lucky.
We have been through so much here and there, and there were times when I hoped that everything just fall into places just like these stories that I have read and heard. Why can't it goes as easy as them? Why do our relationship has to be so hard? Am I making it hard for myself? People tell me to take it easy? What? How? Why?

I guess maybe it's hard for us now, and maybe it will be easier for us in some aspect later on. I can only pray, hope and work at it the best I can.

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I miss my mom..

IN THE MOOD FOR CUT AND PASTE

Not in the mood to update even though I have a lot of things that I want to 'scream' about. Nevertheless, I have some quotations here that are quite interesting..hehehe..

Men and Women

“Sure God created man before woman, but then again you always make a rough draft before creating the final masterpiece.”

“God made woman beautiful and foolish; beautiful, that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him”

I like this one:
“A woman in love can't be reasonable--or she probably wouldn't be in love.”

Happiness

“Happiness is not the absence of problems but the ability to deal with them.”

“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”

Loads more at this website

WALLA

I spend my Saturday morning, at the office, doing nothing except changing my blog template. There are just so many here that you can choose. All are creative and nice, I didn’t know which one to decide on. I settled for this one as it looks very cheerful, kan?

Esophoria – I looked up in the dictionary..it is a medical term?? Yikes..something to do with tendency of your eyes to turn inward a little bit. It occurs under certain conditions such as fatigue.

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I am a bit in an off mood today. Gonna hang out with my cousin in Semenyih to get my mind off some stuff. My mom already went for a trip to Spain and Morocco for the whole week, organized by the Education Ministry. Man! She got to travel more than I do. Maybe I should be a school teacher instead huh?

PMS FOR MEN?

He was in a bad mood for the past couple of days and he jokingly said that he was having PMS. But still, maybe there is a time of the month for guys too huh?

So I did some research via Google.Guys actually DO experience the time of the month known as IMS. The full name is Irritable Male Syndrome , I just LOVE the full version of it!

Hahahaha..! Read more here.

Still love him to bits! (^_^)

THE POWER OF BLOGGING

I started to blog since 2004 and from that point I started to blog-hop here and there. Through out these 2 years, I get to ‘know’ some people..not really know them but I know what their life is all about.

For example, I followed Cyberdad's blog since his and his wife found out that they were having another baby..and months after that, walla..their baby Natrah arrived..and I shared the joy with them, and I kept reading to know what is the next destination.

Another blogger is Mak Andeh. I followed her stories with the brood. Their joy and laughter and yeah, she wrote in a way that made me cry or smile or laugh depends on what they were going through. From her blog, I can tell that she is one tough lady with 3 bright and sometimes naughty kids. Heheh..

Now, Bergen. I have been following his blog ever since my sis recommended it. I read his archives to really know what this guy is all about. He is quite an interesting character. A man, looking for the love of his life ( aren’t we all? ). I really enjoyed his writings. Now, he is in love. He found his special someone and he is trying his very best to win her heart. When I read about this, I could not help but feeling truly glad and happy for him that his search has finally stop and hopefully will never start again.

It’s amazing how ‘strangers’ affect our lives in the sense that we could share their joy and sorrow. We wait and wait for them to finally find what they are looking for by reading what they had to go through step by step based on their writings.

I just hope that I will be able to share my joy and sorrow with all of you too. I am still flying and I don’t know when will I be able to reach my destination and I hope that all of you can continue flying with me.

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In the real world, something else has come along. My good old friend, A has met a girl that he used to like back in the university. He wanted her to be referred to as L. ( L = love, mwahahahah..! ) They lost contact for the past 4 years and they bumped into each other last week and exchanged phone numbers. He informed me about all these last nite and we had a chat. He felt that there were no fireworks when he met her again. However, he said that when they went for their first date ( heheh..) he still likes to hang around with her. She is fun; she is still the same as before, the stuff that he used to like is still there. So, what’s wrong?
Hmm..this is tricky. I told him that maybe he was still in shocked that he met her again after 4 years. Once it is settled, he may be able to reflect on what really happened. I truly believe in this fate, romantic, it’s meant for each other thingy, I mean, they met accidentally after 4 years; both are single, what are the odds of that? The timing is perfect. I hope that he will give it a go. You have so many hang-out friends man, it's time to find your someone ok!

GENNY..GENNY..GENNY

Boy..I had a rough morning..well, not that rough la. First, I woke late, 6.30am! My mom knocked on the door so hard that I woke up like a cat trying to escape a vacuum cleaner from sucking it..hahaha..crazy..but true( I love to do that to my cat, hahahah..! ), Nway, I woke up and asked what time is it? Had my shower and as I finished dressing up and finally everything had settled in, I had a headache because of the sudden rush. Nway, went to my Gennifer and there! The battery went flat. I could not start the car. Genny..Genny..Genny..what's wrong with you baby?
And seriously, at the same time, I saw money with wings flying around me, hahahah..!

My mom had already left and I left her 3 missed calls. I was too sleepy and tired to be angry, sad or frustrated. I just decided to wait until 8 something and called the servis center near my house. The mechanic came at 9 something, jump-start my car and I drove Gennifer to the servis center. Had to change the battery..and everything was done at 10 plus in the morning. Another half day gone..

(^_^) (^_^) (^_^) (^_^)

Nothing much to update..I had a blast during the last 4 days! (^_^)
The not so good news is that now I miss him terribly, and I hate that..heheh..

Nway, I’m so bored to death in the office right now. I am fasting..so, I am sleepy at the same time. Boredom+sleepiness is a bad combination. You know, he told me that if he has all this free time, he will look at the stock market, analyze and do some calculation etc..well, yeah, of course la, he loves to do that and I know he would enjoy it very much.

Stock market huh? Interesting..Looking at the market right now..I don’t think so la and I have no idea how to do all that. The basic rule, you bought with this price and if it gets to a higher price, you sell and you get the money, yeay! But..but..the decision in buying the potential stock is a whole new dimension for me.

Gosh, I can’t wait for the new semester to start. Fresh faces to see, hopefully faces that are eager to learn. I can’t wait to start teaching. 3 months break man! Do I still have what it takes? Heheh..mcm nak jadi America’s Next Top Model la pulak..

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I went to a wedding in Melaka yesterday. It was quite grand and the food was nice. My friend, J is from Kedah and when she did her ceremony in Alor Setar, I could not make it. I was very disappointed, as I always wanted to celebrate her big day at her place. So, it was very important that I came to the groom’s side in Melaka. She looked different with all the make-up, I hardly recognized her..heheh..I wish them well and hope that they will lead a happy and prosperous life together.

VISIT

I went to visit two students that I supervised for their industrial training. Both were in KL and near my house. Heheh..I was happy as I did not have to be in the office and just went for the visit. All I needed to do is to note down the visit in my punch card. Yes, UNITEN still uses the punch card system. Hehehe..

The two visits went well. One student has to do a routine job everyday..hmm, he likes it but I wish that he could learn more during his 3 months practical. Another one gets to travel to a few states during his practical. But his job scope is mainly on setting up the infrastructure for a new branch, which although not related to electrical engineering, he learned a lot about safety in a workplace and what are the specs that needed to be met when an office need to be set up.

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I too got a rather surprise visit from someone. (^_^)

He told me on Wednesday nite, that he had to go to Gurun, Kedah and will only be back on Friday evening. I thought that there is a big possibility that he may not be able to come to KL this weekend. Yesterday morning, I called him just to know where he was; he said that he was approaching Rawang already. I was like Rawang? OK, Rawang is South, you were supposed to be heading North, aren’t you?
So, there, the secret was out. I know that he wanted to surprise me by coming to KL and I kinda spoilt that surprise by calling him. He HAD to tell me where he was, as his brother was in the car with him. He did not want to be teased I guess..hahahah..!

Nway, I was surprised as this is something new coming from him and I love the fact that he is making the effort in doing it. I appreciated it so much. He stopped over at UNITEN and we had breakfast. Then, he hanged around in my office until it was time for lunch. He surfed the net, he chatted with his friends through YM..and yeah, I really missed my PC that time..hehehe..He left after lunch and we met up again in the evening with his bunch of friends before we finally bid our goodbyes for the day.

It’s good that he knows about my working environment..how most of the time, I would only be in the office and just do my work..if there is any work to do that is. I will only interact with people when there are classes, meetings, some courses to attend or from my daily routines. Then, I go home and just be with my family. That’s my life. And now he understands why I always think too much and assume too many things. Hmm..I too need to start making myself occupied.

Being static may not be a good thing, you need to move around, and I guess, that is the purpose of blog hopping..heheh..

PERFECTION

On Friday, due to boredom, I have decided to give my aunt a call and we had a chat for quite a while. It seemed that she is really pissed off with her 16-year-old daughter who I shall referred to as D.

D in my opinion is a very witty and intelligent young lady. I enjoyed being with her as she is so funny and she has the tendency of blurting out something out of the blue that is just hilarious. But lately, according to my aunt, she has mixed around with the wrong bunch of friends. She has started to come home late even though she had been told to be home before 7pm. She starts to question why her friends get the privilege of getting home at 9 or 10pm, why is it so hard for her mom to let her going out and so forth…which never happened before. Don’t get me wrong, she is a good daughter, it’s just my aunt miss the good old D that is always doing well in her class, never question her methods of upbringing and so forth.

Hmm, it’s true that friends influence our lives in many ways. I am fortunate to be surrounded with good, kind friends when I was growing up till now. However, I have to say that my sister influences me a lot. When she was a teenager, she was a tomboy. I looked at her as some sort of a role model and so, I followed her ways. I too become a tomboy and I think now, I still walk like a gangster looking for a fight. ( that’s what my sister told me..heheh ).

But nevertheless, inside, I am not as strong as I appeared to be. I am very sensitive, very emotional, that I sometimes can’t understand why. Sometimes I do wish that I could brush off all the little things or not to think about anything too much. I used to be able to block my thinking by means of just saying to myself, don’t think about it, Adah. Lately, I can still do it, but I need to work harder.

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I want people to accept me for who I am, as I always do that to the people around me, I accept them for who they are. But I am having problem of accepting him for who he is. I have this model of my perfect guy inside my head, and I want him to follow that..and it’s not fair, I know. He has the fundamental parts of course as he is kind, responsible, honest, loyal and he cares about me…that is what matters to me actually.

I know that the same thing applies to me. I know that I am not what he thought I was back then. I always drive him crazy...

The last few days had been an emotional roller coaster for me as I have my doubts and fear about the unknowing..which I think is normal. All I can do is pray and keep on praying that everything will be ok.

I am not perfect, and so is he. But what is important is that I believe that we are perfect for each other.

PEDAGOGY

For the past three days, I had to undergo this training to teach effectively here in UNITEN. The first day was a bit boring. There were some presentations here and there about teaching process, Bloom's taxanomy, evaluation and measurement and so forth. But don't get me wrong, it was definitely very informative, I learned a lot from all the presentations. It's normal la to get a bit bored and sleepy kan? Haa..by the way, do you know that we the lecturers are a bunch of AGOGOS..hahaha..! It means LEADERS in Greek in think..I'm not sure..

The best part was that all the lecturers had to give a 10 minutes lecture, being video-taped and then we got to see the video immediately and gave our feedback. Hahaha..! I always wanted to see myself teach. Crazy huh? And what an experience it was, I was so damn fast. It was like zup-zup-zup and I finished after like 5 minutes. I laughed like crazy looking at myself in the video. They commented on the speed of course. But the positive thing they said was that it was a good presentation, good volume of voice and good interaction with the audience. Heheh..I just need to adjust the speed la. Aiyoo..wondering whether my students actually understands what I've taught in class. I always told them, that if I am too fast, please tell me and just stopped me. Hmm, maybe they could actually cope with me huh? Hehehe..

A LESSON

Had a fight with him last weekend. Small thing went out of proportion. He pissed me off towards the end of the day and I tried my best to stay calm and cool in front of his friends but I just couldn't help it, it's me. I couldn't pretend to not be angry, I know that I have to control it, but believe me, I had, if u asked me, I would just asked him to follow his friend while I drove home myself at that point.

Nway, whenever I lashed out my anger and frustration at him, I would feel bad and he ended up getting angry at me. That's how we fight. He got angry because I got angry for a small matter and that I showed my anger at a wrong place and time. Well, I admit that's my fault and that's my flaw. It's not just anger, but other emotions as well, happy, surprise, I just show it there and then.

Last nite, we talked and I said something harsh to him, very harsh that he hung up on me. I was so panicked, the last thing I wanted to do was to hurt him again. I just wanted him to tell me how he felt despite him already saying that he is ok, that he is fine. I just don't believe him, I knew he is not fine, and I knew he is not ok, and I knew that he is still mad at me, and I wanted to know why.
It is always from this sort of conversation that I know how he really feels about this relationship, as most of the time, I will be the one being honest about my feelings, and so, when he opens up, I will know.

Nway, I called him again and apologized for what I have said. But the conversation was still one sided, he was not in the mood to talk, while I kept on pushing him. I knew that he wanted his time alone, and I just could not understand why he needed that. I hated the thought that he is mad at me, I hated the thought that he might hate my guts, and I hated the thought that I hurt him.

I just hate myself at the moment.

I just want everything to be wiped out of my memory.

LANGKAWI PICS

TASIK DAYANG BUNTING



SITTING BY THE LAKE



SUNSET AT CHENANG BEACH

DEPRESSION MODE

You know, there will be days when you just feel like crying and crying with nothing but negative thoughts inside your head..you just can't help it..you tried to come up with good, positive thoughts but to no avail..you just ended up crying none stop..until you fell asleep.

That's what happened to me yesterday.

It was ok during the day..but that nite, I was suddenly feeling so depress. I called him, hoping to feel better, but while talking to him for like a minute I think, he received an incoming call..he had to hang up the phone, I was like.."That is so not helping me right now'. Normally I would not mind..but last nite, it was not a good idea to hang up on me.

He did not do anything wrong but at that point, being so fragile, whatever he said or didn't say for that matter hurt my feelings..he tried to comfort me of course..we..I meant..he tried to talk about something else..tried to cheer me up..I tried to tag along and talked to him...but I guess maybe I just needed a good cry.

So, I did..after we hung up.

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This morning, I woke up, having a slight headache..feeling a bit better. Gonna have lunch with my sister today. Her flight to Dublin is tonite. Hopefully, they will be able to come again this August..because of the 2 major events that month.

Have a good weekend everybody!

Just received an sms from him, he is coming to KL again tonite to do some work tomorrow. Hopefully, I get to spend some time with him or as he put it, QUALITY TIME..heheh