On Friday, due to boredom, I have decided to give my aunt a call and we had a chat for quite a while. It seemed that she is really pissed off with her 16-year-old daughter who I shall referred to as D.
D in my opinion is a very witty and intelligent young lady. I enjoyed being with her as she is so funny and she has the tendency of blurting out something out of the blue that is just hilarious. But lately, according to my aunt, she has mixed around with the wrong bunch of friends. She has started to come home late even though she had been told to be home before 7pm. She starts to question why her friends get the privilege of getting home at 9 or 10pm, why is it so hard for her mom to let her going out and so forth…which never happened before. Don’t get me wrong, she is a good daughter, it’s just my aunt miss the good old D that is always doing well in her class, never question her methods of upbringing and so forth.
Hmm, it’s true that friends influence our lives in many ways. I am fortunate to be surrounded with good, kind friends when I was growing up till now. However, I have to say that my sister influences me a lot. When she was a teenager, she was a tomboy. I looked at her as some sort of a role model and so, I followed her ways. I too become a tomboy and I think now, I still walk like a gangster looking for a fight. ( that’s what my sister told me..heheh ).
But nevertheless, inside, I am not as strong as I appeared to be. I am very sensitive, very emotional, that I sometimes can’t understand why. Sometimes I do wish that I could brush off all the little things or not to think about anything too much. I used to be able to block my thinking by means of just saying to myself, don’t think about it, Adah. Lately, I can still do it, but I need to work harder.
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I want people to accept me for who I am, as I always do that to the people around me, I accept them for who they are. But I am having problem of accepting him for who he is. I have this model of my perfect guy inside my head, and I want him to follow that..and it’s not fair, I know. He has the fundamental parts of course as he is kind, responsible, honest, loyal and he cares about me…that is what matters to me actually.
I know that the same thing applies to me. I know that I am not what he thought I was back then. I always drive him crazy...
The last few days had been an emotional roller coaster for me as I have my doubts and fear about the unknowing..which I think is normal. All I can do is pray and keep on praying that everything will be ok.
I am not perfect, and so is he. But what is important is that I believe that we are perfect for each other.
